Sometimes a subject comes into view and we want to revel in it, we want to immerse ourselves in it, we want to endlessly read and hear about it.

So begins my deep dive into generosity. An experiment in generosity may be in my future.

I conduct many experiments. I share a few of them. Experiments help me to track the ways I am aware and awake in the world, without judgement. I am interested in reality. I am not interested in seeing reality as good or bad.

I am curious about serving the world through love.

Good Morning Sun.

I began my sunrise experiment in October 2020 and it continues today. At first, I noticed my impatience. I checked my phone for the exact time of sunrise, again and again. I knew the Morning Star, Venus, was also on the horizon, but I couldn’t spot them. I shivered in the chill of fall mornings and the cold in the winter. I took photo after photo, wanting to capture some beauty for all my trouble.

Some mornings (all of June!) I groaned as I got out of bed, resenting my aliveness at 4:30 a.m..

My walks to a bluff where I had a view of the sun rising were between 10 and 20 minutes long. I added an element of voice and sound to my sun rise experiment on many days. I listened to A Songline for warriors. Meg Wheatley’s Warrior’s for the Human Spirit, A Songline. I wondered how a warrior views the sun rising. I wondered how one person might make a difference in a world where people were so divided.

Over time, I began to embody an unshakeable stillness when I stopped to view the sun. A warm feeling arises in the middle of my belly, a feeling like expansion, like the swelling of a heart in love.

Over time, I began to embody the beginnings of discipline. Discipline, one of my words for 2022, (along with reciprocity and sacred) remains an uncomfortable word and idea. I resist authority. I resist group-think. I resist we-should-all-do-it-this-way-because-this-is-the-way. I don’t judge my resistance. I don’t see it as good or bad.

I experience discipline, now, as self-care. I wonder if self-care leads to serving the world with love? So many experiments to do!

I am learning to be a Warrior for the Human Spirit, one experiment at a time.

How, I wonder, might a warrior for the human spirit experience generosity? How might they serve the world through generosity?