Have you ever felt like maybe the point to doing a task is no longer in sight? Like, maybe, getting above 90 per cent on every exam is not important, even though it used to be the focus of your life? Or how about hanging out with someone is the last thing you want to do because that person is, (God how clearly you see it now), really a negative influence in your life?
And you know that in-between place when you know the truth and the reality of it all, but you’re not ready to do something about it?
I know I’m being ambiguous about the details. That’s necessary.
What is also necessary is that I tell you that I’ve decided to take action. And what brought me to that? A realization that I can’t endure static. Static is remaining in a house that’s crumbling around me.
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I’ve been thinking a whole lot about fearlessness lately, becau
I’ve been thinking a whole lot about fearlessness lately, because as you may know, I am not the most fearless person. Using beer in a cupcake recipe is stretching me to my limit and, trust me, many people my age are using the line I set down as a baby-sized hurdle to step over.
What does it mean? Now, it means I’m not getting into much trouble. None, really. They are though, lots of trouble when they get caught and, I suspect, a fair amount of wondering what the H they are doing on Saturday night. Maybe they only consider this on Sunday morning. Later, though, is what I’m worrying about; I don’t think I want to be afraid of the same things I’m afraid of now- groups with loud boys who are drinking, girls who wear incredibly tight clothing and smoke cigarettes, parties, driving, the taste of any sort of alcohol that isn’t drowned by soda.
Honestly, I want to know what normal is for other people. I’m just not ready for it today.
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