I always hated when my mother told me that if a guy was a jerk towards me, he secretly liked me. When Will scraped his boogers against my arm in the third grade, that wasn’t an act of I-Love-You. Maybe he wanted my attention, but more likely he wanted the admiration of every boy in the class. I am not afraid of anything, he must have thought, not even getting into trouble for terrorizing Chantal. Under his terror, I became the girl who shrieked easily, the one who stepped carefully in or out of a room, the one who found dark movie theaters and parking lots far too scary to navigate alone. I was a splendid brain with a nervous system that peaked out all the time.
And the teachers didn’t help much. They rolled their eyes and talked about how all boys are like that. Excuse me; all boys do not place the hearts of their dissected fetal pigs in a box and give them to a girl (me) on Valentine’s Day. Principal Hall said on February 15, “Will may have gone too far this time.” May? You think?
It wasn’t until the security cameras focused on the school parking lot caught him following me to my car, crouched down and shuffling between bumpers, that the principal started to understand that Will did not have an average crush on me. When they caught him behind a black Honda Civic, they discovered a knife attached to his leg. He claimed it was for protection, but they suspended him anyway. And I’ve heard he’s going to anger management classes. Apparently the “arrest” was heated.
If Jillian is reading this right now, I apologize. I know I have promised to drop the whole Will thing. I know I have committed to never reliving the events of the past 8 years under Will’s torture, but this is a blog. And blogs are for venting and ranting. And people like to read about all the awful things that have occurred. I am obligated to my readers to be honest.
And readers, the truth is I think Will hates me and, potentially, all girls. It will probably take hours of a paid-professional’s time to figure out exactly why and even more hours to attempt to fix this bizarre attitude that has translated into so much misery for me. Perhaps people will pray for his soul. Perhaps they will wonder if it was him who poisoned their cat. All I know is that I am right. And I like to be right.
I’m telling you this story to warn you to follow your gut instinct. Mean boys are not secretly in love with the girls they torture and if they believe that they are, their view of love is real messed up.
With all this heaviness of thought and philosophy, the heat of ranting is overwhelming. I need to cool down. And so I share with you the coolest Combination Brownie I’ve ever made. It’s brownies with coffee-flavoured cream cheese. Authentic love at first bite. The only bite a lover should be giving his lovee.
Espresso Chocolate Brownie Bites!
Think of iced cappuccinos and frozen lattes and deliciously hot things served cold on a sunderful summer day. This recipe is delectably bold in expresso flavour and deliciously sweet-creamy- the chocolate pizazz that will last long after the curtain call on the last bite!
Note 1: There are lots of steps here but the recipe is not difficult. And it’s definitely worth the work.
Note 2: This recipe is from Dorie Greenspan’s book Baking. If you love to bake and you don’t own this cookbook, save up your bottle deposits to buy it. It’s wonderfully delightful.
Ingredients:
For the Brownies
- 1/2 cup all purpose flour
- 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
- pinch of salt
- 5 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into five pieces
- 4 ounces bitterweet chocolate, coarsely chopped
- 1/3 cup sugar
- 2 large eggs
- 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
For the Cheesecake:
- 1 1/2 teaspoons epresso powder
- 1 Tablespoon boiling water
- 8 ounces of cream cheese, room temperature
- 2/3 cup sugar
- 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 2 large eggs
- 1/4 cup sour cream
- 1 Tablespoon all-purpose flour
For the Topping:
- 1 1/4 cups sour cream
- 1/2 cup icing sugar
To Do:
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter a 9 inch square pan, dust with flour and tap out excess. Put the pan on a baking sheet
For Brownies:
- Whisk together the flour, baking powder and salt.
- Set a heatproof bowl over a saucepan of simmering water. Put the butter in the bowl, top with the chopped chocolate and stir occasionally until the ingredients are just melted- you don’t want them to get so hot that the butter separates. Remove the bowl from the pan of water.
- With a whisk, stir the sugar into the chocolate mixture. Add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition.
- Whisk in the vanilla and beat vigorously for a few seconds. With the whisk or a rubber spatula, gently stir in the dry ingredients, mixing only until they disappear into the batter.
- Set aside while you prepare the cheesecake.
For the Cheesecake:
- Dissolve the espresso poweder in the boiling water. Set aside to cool.
- In a stand mixer with the paddle attachment or using a hand mixer, beat the cream cheese on medium speed until completely smooth. Add the sugar and beat for 3 minutes or until well incorporated.
- Beat in the vanilla and the espresso mixture.
- Add the eggs one at a time, beating for 1 miute after each addition, then reduce the mixer speed to low.
- Add the sour cream, followed by the flour. The batter will be smooth.
To combine:
- Give the brownie batter a few stirs and pour three quarters of the batter into the perpeared pan.
- Smooth the brownie layer and pour the cheecake batter over it, tilting the pan as needed to even the batter.
- Dot the top of the batter with spoonfuls of the remaining brownie batter. (Dorie suggests you swirl. I didn’t. Loved the result.)
- Bake for 30 to 35 minutes or until the brownies pull away from the sides of the pan and the cheesecake layer is beige in the center and lightly browned around the edges. Transfer the pan to a rack and cool to room temperature.
- When the brownies are completely cool, refrigerate for at least 2 hours, or until thoroughly chilled.
For the Topping:
- Warm the sour cream and sugar in a saucepan over very low heat, stirring constantly until sugar is dissovled. (just takes a couple of minutes).
- Remove from the heat and pour the topping over the cold cheesecake layer.
- Return brownies to refrigerator and chill for at least another hour.
Dorie’s note: The easiest way to cut this dessert is to run the knife blade under hot water, wipe it dry and cut the cake into quarters. Remove the quarters from the pan, and again using a warmed-and-dried knife, cut each quarter into 4 pieces.
